Another first last week - I took our Shelty to the vet to have her put down. She had been with us for fifteen years, and she was the smartest dog I have ever been around. In the photo it is like she is saying farewell and thank you for a good life.
She had been leaving spots of blood all over the house and the doc had said it was probably bladder cancer last Saturday. He gave her a round of antibiotics just in case. They did not work, and I planned to take her in Thursday after school. The principal wanted me to be at the faculty meeting with the superintendent (where he told us we would probably take a 2000 dollar pay cut next year). Not a good day overall.
I decided to take her the next morning and asked for permission to be a little late for school. It turned out to be okay because Lady and I got to walk together and she had to be awakened with me putting the lease around her neck to go to the vet. All the pictures I got with her were farewell gifts from her.
She rode with me to the vet with her long snout in my lap and could not walk up the concrete steps to the vet so took the hill beside them. When we went in she was a lady as always and did not even whimper when he did a thorough exam. After looking again he said again she either had a bladder tumor or a tumor between her rectum and vagina. When I asked what he would do he would not answer but did not argue when I said my wife and I have made our decision even though the nurse had said I could take her for ultra sound to assure me I had done all I could.
He came in with a shot to relax her before giving her the lethal shot just as he had describe after my inquiry about what he would do. That is the only time she whimpered when he gave her that shot in the gluts. She very soon calmed as I leaned over the table and held her in my arms. Pretty soon I was pouring libations of my tears on her long snout and she was sleeping. When he came in with the final cocktail shot, she did not even stir when he shaved her left forearm for a clear shot into a vein. When he put in the needle and started injecting I think she was gone before he finished.
I came outside after letting him take care of her and found two rocks in the parking lot. I picked up an ugly flat brown one and a beautiful red quartz. I decided to keep both - one for life and one for death, one for mourning and one for joy, one for despair and one for hope, one for grace and one for judgement - the twin tandems that border and embrace the path of life.
I put them by my oasis fountain upon my return to school - punctuated by a stop at the MIll Store in Canton where I purchased two beautiful blue ceramic pots that I had written a grant for to enhance the entrance to the greenhouse and shout out school pride with euryops filling the air with golden blooms. She would like all these things.
Walk now in the light, Lady.
